Not every breakup results in blocking each other on social media and cutting off communication completely.
Sometimes, exes decide to keep things amicable and stay in touch, though not as frequently as before.
Over time, especially a few days or weeks after the breakup, you might notice signs that suggest your ex wants to reconcile.
However, there is one important thing you need to know to avoid misinterpreting these signs.
What’s that?
Your ex might actually, miss having you in their life without necessarily wanting to get back together, a lot of people suffer from the fear of losing people, even if they’re people that have caused them pain before.
And that might be what you’re mistaking for “secretly wanting you back”.
You see, we humans find comfort in routines and habits, much like with addictions or familiar activities.
Just as it’s hard to break those patterns, it’s difficult to stop talking to someone you’re used to, especially when it’s abrupt without necessary time to prepare for it.
Some people may reach out after a breakup not because they regret it or want to reconcile, but simply because they miss the familiarity of interacting with their ex, and they lack the willpower to resist these feelings, unlike those with more discipline.
Interestingly, they might not realize this until they get back with their ex.
When you get back together with these kinds of exes, there’s a high likelihood they won’t show you serious commitment.
You’ll just be an option pending when they find a better person or get over the intense feeling of losing you.
They may not even bring up the idea of “getting back together” but rather prefer to continue as things were.
On the other hand, there are those who genuinely regret their actions and want to mend things because they realize their mistakes. They messed up!
Often, you can tell from their dedicated actions towards you which clearly showcases how sorry they are.
It’s important to understand these distinctions to avoid misjudging the situation, and for you to better prepare yourself for what’s coming and how you want to respond to it.
Now, let’s discuss what these signs are themselves.
Signs Your Ex Secretly Wants You Back
They’re trying so hard to keep in touch
One of the biggest signs an ex “wants you back” is their effort to reestablish communication.
After a breakup, communication usually fades. If your ex initiates contact and does so consistently, trying to return to old ways of making you laugh or cheering you up, it could mean they regret the breakup and miss you.
Your ex might reach out in several ways:
– Sending you random reels
– Replying to your social media posts
– Liking or commenting on your pictures
– Calling you, even when a text would suffice etc.
When you respond positively to their efforts, they’ll likely try to restore normal communication and might apologize along the way, showing a desire to mend things.
If not, then you know the real reason why they’re back :(. (Because they battle with the fear of losing people).
A shift in their “post theme”
If they’re not usually active on social media but suddenly start posting about forgiveness, gratitude, detriments of losing someone special and second chances, it’s a sign they might be trying to communicate with you directly, without wanting to seem desperate in your DM.
Even if they were social media enthusiasts, a shift from random posts to ones focused on these themes suggests they want to reach out to you, especially if it is happening around the time of your breakup, but they don’t know how to and subtle messages on their status is the way to go.
These posts likely aim to apologize or make amends, hoping you’ll respond.
Really, the next move is yours! 😊
They’re still stuck in the past
You agreed to stay in touch after the break up, but conversations never feel casual.
It never stops with “Hi”, “Hello”, “How are you doing today”. It scratches way beyond that!
Every interaction focuses on past experiences, good times you shared together or how much fun you had.
They constantly reminisce, seemingly trying to relive the past.
This could be a sign that they miss you.
There are two possible explanations for why they miss you as I’ve pointed out:
Habit: They’re used to having you around and struggle to move on without your presence, not necessarily because they desperately crave you or can’t live without you, but simply because a familiar routine is disrupted.
Genuine longing: They truly miss you and the connection you shared.
Be an alpha and find out why yourself!
Now, Magically, They’ve fixed up.
Consider the reasons behind your breakup.
Did it involve poor communication, defensiveness without basis, negativity, insults, lies, or a lack of effort?
If your ex who displayed these negative behaviors is now correcting them, acting friendly and attentive, it could be a sign they regret their actions and fear losing you.
This sudden change might be an attempt to win you back, but…. may not necessarily be a genuine transformation.
Healthy partners work on communication and address problems together, right when they come up.
They don’t resort to manipulation or disregard your feelings.
In the end, the decision is yours.
While some people do change for the better, often these changes are temporary attempts to regain something lost.
They’re curious about your love life
So you’re still in touch with your ex, and now they’re asking questions about your dating life — like who you’re dating, when you started, and so on.
If they show genuine interest and become more engaged when they learn you’re not dating, it’s a sign they miss you.
However, if they become sad and withdrawn upon finding out you’re seeing someone else, it indicates they wanted you, and your response has closed that door for them.
They’re more interested in you than before
Before the breakup, your ex treated you poorly, ignoring your concerns and making you feel insignificant.
Now, suddenly, they’re very interested in you, giving you much more attention.
This shift might surprise you, showing they had the capacity for attention but chose not to use it before.
This sudden change is a clear sign they might be trying to win you back.
However, their intentions could be good or bad. And they may know it or not know it.
It’s up to you to look closely and carefully to determine if their motives are genuine.
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